Those Unanswered Questions

                              

I don’t know why I am writing this to you! May be somewhere I believe you have answer to my questions or maybe you can understand the messy heap of my thoughts!

Sometimes when I see you, covetousness glides in my veins. How can you have crystal clear thoughts about your next move? How can u easily decide whether to go for black or white while I always struggle between my shades of grey! 

I have everything in my life, which someone ever dreams of! A good job in a reputed company ( the work I am hardly interested in doing , but still doing !!) , a supporting family which is always there to shield me when I crumble from in and out! A couple of faithful friends, on whom I count on blindly.

Blessed!! Ain’t I? Still, still I feel a major part of my life is missing! A connector to complete the maze.

Each day, I am spending 10 precious hours of my life on something I am doing which I don’t know why I am doing!! I am heading towards those unknown lanes in the dense fog of winters with a hope that I will land up somewhere familiar! Deep down the memory lane I remember, how career driven I used to be!What has happened to me now? I guess I have turned into nothing but a lazy sloth that is waiting for the clouds to get clear in order to get some sunshine.  But trust me, it’s not that easy as well, even for that also you need to step out of your room! Look! I know everything, still every time I fail to implement it. It’s all about, “let it be……….!!"

There are things I love doing! But then again I am afraid whether it will fetch me enough money?

The risk factor prevails.Satisfaction matters! Of course it does! But so does the currency! Isn’t it? I am not able to handle the heavy clouds of confusion. All I know is, I need to take some time to think and decide, but then for how long?? Sometimes I have answers to my own questions but then, there is always a “BUT” after that!!! It’s just my own dragons, not letting me fly!

Bear me, till I strive for my unanswered questions.

I will find my way back home, where I guess you will be waiting for me!

Love.

Clara.